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Road ,News
FEB 14th 2023

James King

50 shades of car grey

Valentine’s day is here and as the only single member of the Goodwood writing staff I’ve been given the fun task of creating some car related content. As a fan of mundane cars, I’ve seen the perfect opportunity to give them the limelight on this most romantic of days. Everyone else who is in a relationship won’t be reading this so they can’t stop me. ‘What’s the best colour to spec your mundane car?’ I hear you ask. It is of course - grey. Grey is grey, right? WRONG. Thanks to car brands’ marketing teams trying to inject a bit of sex appeal into their colour choices, grey is an entire colour spectrum in itself.

Seeing as I have so much time on my hands being single, I’ve managed to rank the top 50 shades of grey. Disclaimer: I would have written this list regardless of the book ‘50 Shades of Grey’ by E.L James which I discovered just after finalising the rankings.

50. Ford Sea grey

I’m kicking off the list with the classic Ford Sea grey. Those of you that have a Ford in Sea grey can now brag to your friends you’re in the top 50.

49. BMW Ascot grey

Most famously appearing on the E21.

48. Audi Nardo grey

Nardo grey is Gen Z Audi Terra grey.

47. Audi Terra grey

Audi Terra grey is the Millennial’s Classic grey.

46. Land Rover Zambesi grey

Low ranked because it’s too light for a Defender.

Ferrari SF90 Grey Squalo.jpg

45. Ferrari Grigio Squalo

Just wrong on a prancing horse.

44. Skoda Metallic Quartz grey

Grey disguised as dark blue. Wannabe grey.

43. Nissan Precision grey

Are you still reading?

42. Ford Stealth grey

Who specs a Focus RS in this? Poor judgement.

41. Porsche Chalk grey

Of all the Porsche colour choices, you land on this?

Audi e-Tron GT Kemora Grey.jpg

40. Audi Oolong grey

Oolong? Seriously?

39. Ferrari Grigio Medio

Green for those who are in denial.

38. Audi Graphite grey

No one specs this. It’s just the one they deliver as your company car.

37. BMW Individual Silver Grey metallic

Poor man’s blue.

36. Ford Iris grey

The Ford Grand C-Max’s little black dress.

Porsche 911 Grey.jpg

35. Audi Suzuka grey

White for people who can’t face reality.

34. Porsche Stone grey

Clearly olive green.

33. Audi Quantum grey

Thinking man’s Nardo grey.

32. BMW Grigio Telesto

Trying to be Italian. Failed.

31. Porsche grey black

Is it grey or is it black? MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

BMW M3 Touring Grey.jpg

30. Audi Typhoon grey

Typhoon? Stop trying to make grey exciting.

29. Porsche Volcano grey

See above.

28. BMW Sparkling Graphite

A lot of extra words for grey

27. Ford Magnetic grey

*Shrugs*

26. Porsche Fashion grey

It doesn’t make it fashionable if you just call it ‘Fashion.’

Honda Civic Grey.jpg

25. Honda Polished Metal

Half way and I’ve never felt so alone.

24. BMW Silver Grey

Silver masquerading as grey.

23. Audi Kemora Grey

Blue for posers.

22. Land Rover Pennine grey

Maybe it’s because I do content like this that I’m single?

21. Ferrari Grigio Silverstone Opaco

Pretentious Grigio Silverstone.

Skoda Enyaq Grey.jpg

20. Ferrari grigio Silverstone

Actually, it's still just grey.

19. Skoda Meteor grey

Nardo grey on a budget. I respect that.

18. Porsche Meteor grey

Same as above, just looks better on a Porsche.

17. Skoda Business grey

The first in this list that isn’t pretending to be something it’s not. Business grey for business time.

16. Mazda Liquid silver

Not sure how Mazda thinks it can get away with calling this grey ‘silver.’

Land Rover Defender Grey.jpg

15. Land Rover Cambrian grey

We’re starting to get into the business end now and Cambrian grey can hold its own any day of the week.

14. Porsche Slate grey

Boring name. Looks smart.

13. Ferrari Grigio Granito

Slapped onto a Ferrari 812 Superfast and I now like grey.

12. Porsche Agate grey

It’s grey.

11. Audi Dolphin grey

Bonus points for appearing on the 2001 Audi S3.

Ferrari 296 GTB Grey.jpg

10. Ford Magnum grey

It’s only this high because it donned the Ford Focus ST170.

9. Audi Nano grey

This scrapes into the top 10 because one of our photographers would be heart-broken if it was lower. He actually scoured the classifieds looking for an Audi S1 in Nano grey. He thinks it makes it more valuable. It does not.

8. Land Rover Westminster grey

Included so the government doesn’t investigate me.

7. BMW Derby grey

Appeared on the BMW 2002. Enough said.

6. Ferrari Grigio Scuro

Appeared on the Ferrari LaFerrari. Enough said.

Audi e-Tron GT Daytona Grey.jpg

5. Audi Daytona grey

A top 5 grey. Really grey.

4. Porsche Quartzite grey

If you’ve made it this far, I know the reason why you’re single as well.

3. BMW Bristol grey

Another grey to have appeared on the BMW 2002, but it’s slightly nicer than Derby grey.

2. Ferrari Canna di Fucile

Ferrari Gunmetal grey basically.

1. Land Rover Welsh grey

Welsh grey takes the number one spot to cheer myself up. If you don’t like it, you can make your own ranked list of greys.

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