Learn to 'wear slippers'
"If we can’t learn to carpet the world, how can we learn to wear slippers?” Unknown.
Could you imagine trying to carpet the world? It sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? So, what would it look like if we learnt to wear slippers instead?
How might that work as a metaphor for resilience? That's something I’ve explored with thousands of people over the years, from senior leaders in multi-national organisations, to environmental and peace activists, students and health professionals (during the Covid-19 pandemic). So what really helps to support our resilience in daily life?
Well, the truth is that there are SO many things, too many to cover in a short article!
However, how we’re wired (our nervous system), and understanding our physiological resources really matters. To describe it another way, is our internal battery and noticing what drains it (much of which can be essential, daily life) and what recharges it.
We have an incredibly sensitive, amazing and complex physiology, inherited from our ancestors, and which enabled our survival and even success. From our flight fight response, - think run away from predators or put up a fight (and stress hormones). To our drive response, think activation, ‘getting stuff done’ and feel-good hormones (finding food, shelter, and mates). Both essential to life, and expensive in terms of physiological resources.
Que, our recovery response, (or our rest, digest, tend and befriend response – the clue is in the name), invaluable (and non-negotiable), to recover from the effects of stress, to heal, repair and even digest our food well. I often say to clients, if you think you’re doing nothing when you’re recovering, think again, you’d be amazed at just how much your body is doing! From digesting your food, which quite literally make you, to making new neurons and cells, to boosting your creativity, giving you good ideas and connecting to others.
Understanding that our physiology evolved in a world ‘where being lunch’ was a daily threat, is a useful insight. Many things in our modern lives, can trigger that exact same physiological response (flight fight). Such as external stressors like IT challenges, the news, energy price rises (and financial challenges), to relational conflicts or deadlines. As can internal stressors like poor sleep, alcohol, poor diet and pain. But none of these are things we can physically run away from or ‘fight off ‘. You could say that we have a Flintstone physiology, but we now live in a Jetson world.
And during periods of higher activation, like uncertainty (which none of our brains tend to be a big fan of), life changes, higher levels of demand, or even a pandemic, our physiology can be even more sensitive, using more resources. The smoke alarm in our brain, may fire the stress response when the toast is burning, rather than there’s real fire (also called the amygdala hijack). I’m sure we can all remember days like that.
Of course, not all stress (or activation) is bad. It can often be positive! Regardless of this, without enough, recovery, in the short term it will affect how we think, feel and react to things. Over the longer-term it can impact our hormones and health and lead to burnout.
Restoring our physiological resources is essential to daily and longer-term resilience. So, we know why now, but what about how? What helps?
A tool I use, is the Firstbeat Bodyguard (a small wearable on body device that measures heart rate and heart rate variability in daily life). Client’s wear it for 3-5days in regular daily life, to measure activation and recovery patterns, exercise and sleep. The data is mapped against their own daily journal of activities for each day, providing clear insights into how they have been using their physiological resources, whether they got enough recovery, how and when recovery happened and presented in a clear and accessible report.
Over the years I’ve seen 100s of clients benefit from their own personalised insights and data. From understanding the impact of exercise for them, seeing unexpected moments of recovery during their working/leisure days, how to tweak their exercise regime, or clear actions that could really help their sleep.
Sleep is important, but what if you’re like me, and it’s just not great. Then recovery activities, or green moments as I call then, are even more important. We know that activities like yoga and meditation are great for physiological recovery.
But what I’ve also learnt from all the data, is the valuable (and impact physiologically) of having a chat with a friend, listening to your favourite music and singing in the car, taking 10mins to make a cup of tea, spending time in nature, cooking, writing or journaling, watching something funny (even if it’s a cat video on youtube), sharing activities, taking a moment to regulate/reframe, reading ,playing an instrument. These are all ‘green moments’ in daily life I’ve seen. So, what might some of your green moments be if you started to notice them, and pay attention? Could you use them more consciously as resilience resources or ‘to wear slippers’? They could boost your wellbeing, brain and resilience.
A final tip, in moments of ‘activation’ or when your stress response has been triggered. Slowing your breathing is the fastest way to start to turn down the stress response. When your breathing is slower it will slow your heart rate, and that will start to change your physiology. This comes with a caveat, it’s not for everyone all the time, if you’re recovering from or in the midst of something traumatic, there might be other things more suited to you. Like taking a moment to notice three colours around you or naming three things that you see in your environment.
Whilst these short (often no more than 2-3min) practices may not shift your stress response from 100 to 0, even if it helps to drop it by 10%, could that still be useful. With all of these things, the more we practice, the stronger the muscle.
If you’d like to receive a copy of a free short guided regulation/breathing practice I’ve recorded email info@revolutionresilience.uk and if you’d like to know more about how a Firstbeat Lifestyle assessment could benefit you (and your resilience) do get in touch.
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