Why Feeling Safe Matters More Than Feeling “Full”

Why emotional safety is the foundation of resilience

“In today’s fast-paced world we are surrounded by daily stressors, from running late to reading the news. These activate our finely tuned nervous system, which has evolved to keep us safe but can become overworked,” Kate explains. Chronic over-activation of the stress response not only alters mood and thinking in the short term but can impact health and even brain function long term (Chrousos, 2009).

What helps is awareness. “I often ask myself: What do I notice? What do I need? Sometimes the answer is a walk, music or a warm bath. These small acts of self-awareness and choice are ways of walking with your nervous system rather than fighting against it.”

The gut-brain connection

The conversation between mind and body is constant, running through the autonomic nervous system. When stress takes over, the sympathetic system drives “fight or flight” and slows digestion. Once safety is restored, the vagus nerve supports “rest and digest” (Porges, 2011).

“The vagus nerve is like a superhighway between gut and brain,” Kate explains. “Stress hormones can disrupt digestion and even the microbiome, the bacteria that support mood and immunity. Around 90% of serotonin is made in the gut, so when the gut is out of balance it can reinforce emotional strain” (Cryan & Dinan, 2012).

In other words, supporting gut health also supports emotional resilience.

How breath, rest and small practices shift the nervous system

Kate highlights the power of “micro-practices”. Even 20 seconds of slow breathing, placing a hand over the heart or using a kinder inner voice can send signals of safety through the body. These practices lower cortisol, calm the heart rate and free up the brain for clearer thinking.

“It’s not about being regulated all the time,” she says. “It’s about having tools and choices to meet what is happening in the moment.”

Recent research supports this. A 2024 study found that a simple five-minute breathing practice helped surgeons regulate stress and improve team wellbeing (Schuster-Bruce et al, 2024). Another trial showed that just 20 seconds of self-compassionate touch, practised daily for 28 days, reduced stress and improved resilience (Susmann et al, 2024).

Food, connection and emotional safety

At Goodwood retreats, meals are more than a menu, they are an experience. “Eating together is profoundly regulating,” Kate says. Research shows shared meals boost feel-good hormones like oxytocin, strengthen social bonds and reduce anxiety (Dunbar, 2017).

Warm, nutrient-dense foods also play a role. “Think bone broths, oily fish, leafy greens or fermented foods. They are physiologically nourishing but they are also comforting. Warmth itself signals safety, which may be why so many cultures have rituals around shared, warming meals” (Williams & Bargh, 2008).

Even how we eat matters. “When we eat in a calm environment, at regular times with a sense of gratitude, it signals to the body that it is safe to digest and absorb nutrients. Rushing or eating on the go often does the opposite.”

Why safety supports long-term wellbeing

Moments of rest, pause and nourishment are not wasted time, they are when the body does its most important work: repair, immune support, emotional processing and memory. “Feeling safe is physiological, not just psychological,” Kate reminds us. “That is why belonging, trust and social connection are essential for resilience.”

The research agrees. The Harvard Happiness Study, which has tracked human wellbeing for more than 75 years, found that high quality close relationships are one of the strongest predictors of long-term health and happiness. As Dr Robert Waldinger, the study’s current director, concluded: “The clearest message we get from this 75-year study is this: good relationships keep us happier and healthier.”

This philosophy is woven into the Mood Food Connection Retreat at Goodwood, where Kate’s guidance helps guests explore their emotional landscape, build nervous system awareness and rediscover how food, safety and resilience are all connected.

Join the Mood Food Connection Retreat

The Mood Food Connection Retreat launches on 16 November 2025 at Goodwood, bringing together expert-led sessions, nourishing estate-grown food and the restorative setting of 11,000 acres of countryside.

Led by Kate Fismer alongside Goodwood’s nutrition and wellbeing team, the retreat helps guests move beyond the idea of “eating well” as simply fuel, and instead discover how food, environment and emotional safety shape long-term resilience.

Find out more and book your place on the Mood Food Connection Retreat at Goodwood.

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